Public service tip: Hizzoner's real email address is calebnorris@maumelle.org. On the city's website, Hizzoner invites all to reach out, but the email he lists is a dodge.

Straight from Hizzoner's webpage: "My office is available to you. I can be reached at mayor@maumelle.org or 501-851-2500." A subordinate scrolls the emails and decides what he'll see.

For Goodness Snakes: Keep reading Moniteur de l'Arkansas to learn what’s up with Hizzoner’s snake logo.

By Jay C. Grelen, Moniteur de l'Arkansas

For the record, I’m aware that a large percentage of Moniteur de l'Arkansas’ stories have been “negative” stories about Maumelle’s city government. (Negative is what people call the truth when truth doesn’t paint them up nicely.)

Further I realize I’ve been riding Hizzoner pretty hard, and some people have asked me to lay off. Scott Grummer, Maumelle’s city planner, informed me that many people to whom he’s about Moniteur de l'Arkansas say that what I’m doing is a farce, by which Scott means, he thinks it’s a farce. That was in April, in the dark under pine trees at Lake Willastein as a Little Rock band climbed on stage for the Saturday night Total Eclipse concert. (Scott, who lost his race to become mayor of Conway, was Hizzoner’s first chief of staff. There was COS Number Two. I was this third COS. His current COS is his fourth. Hizzoner has been in office 5.5 years. That’s four chiefs of staff in five-and-a-half years.

Just so you’ll know, this isn’t the sort of writing and reporting I signed on to do. But I worked at Maumelle city hall for a year, which is why, for the moment, I’m writing these stories and riding Hizzoner. I’m the only newspaper reporter left who’s watching Maumelle’s henhouse, and I am bound to keep watch and write what I see.

With that said, here’s today’s Pulbic Pubic Public Service tip: On Maumelle City Government’s website, Hizzoner Caleb Norris invites one and all to contact him. Well, what he actually says is that his office is available to one and all. That makes it sound as if he actually welcomes contact from all his constituents. Don’t buy that. If he really wanted to hear from you, he would share his actual email so you could write directly to him.

To write Hizzoner: calebnorris@maumelle.org

Instead, he posts a dummy email address drops into an abyss. When I was his chief of staff, before he promoted me to emeritus status, one of my tasks was to scroll through his junk mail and send him only emails that I thought were worthy of his important time. Well, since I thought every email from a constituent was worthy of his time, I sent every that arrived. I’m sure I missed some, because he does receive a lot of junk mail.

To bypass the junk mail address, write to:

calebnorris@maumelle.org

Moniteur de l'Arkansas comforts the afflicted and afflicts the afflicters. If you’re an afflicter, buckle up and batten down. We’re here. If you’re afflicted, breathe easy. We’re here. We also write stories that have nothing to do with affliction.

This is Jay Grelen. I hope you remember me from my Sweet Tea column in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. The state’s largest newspaper published the column for seven years on the front page of its Arkansas section on Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday. That was a while ago. The newspaper business has changed. Now I’m a newspaper refugee clutching his manual typewriter and trying to stay afloat. I worked in the newspaper racket for 35 years, including stints at the Denver Post, the Lexington Herald-Leader, the Baton Rouge Morning Advocate, and the Mobile Register. My last stop was a 10-year stay at the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. In 2017, Governor Asa Hutchinson hired me as his senior writer; after nearly six years with Governor Hutchinson, I sharpened pencils and fixed bathroom faucets as chief of staff to the mayor of Maumelle (where I’ve lived for 21 years).

In August 2023, a year to the day after he hired me, Hizzoner Caleb Norris promoted me to Maumelle Chief of Staff Emeritus.

I have returned to writing for a living, and I am participating in the much balleyhooed rebirth of local journalism. The first mission of Moniteur de l'Arkansas is to chase the elected foxes away from the public henhouses, which belong to the constituents who voted the foxes into office. Subscriptions are free, but paid subscriptions are available and welcome Before the end of the year, we will launch the literary Birdsong County Whistler exclusively for subscribers who choose the paid route.

I hope someone has noticed the ever evolving name of this publication. We went from Maumelle Monitor[ed] to Arkansas Monitor to Arkansas Moniteured to the current appellation, Moniteur de l'Arkansas. It’s been an crisis of identity, which is all the rage these days. At any rate, we have settled on a name, which reflects our French roots and our Southern global sweet tea perspective.

Thank you for reading, whatever you think of the name and however you choose to participate.

~ Jay C. Grelen, Moniteur de l'Arkansas